Monstrous Monday: Tin Golem (D&D5E)

So, one of my favorite April Fools' Day articles from Dragon magazine back in the day was one from issue #156 (April 1990) entitled "Not Necessarily the Monstrous Compendium." It had a number of gag monsters that had been submitted by various readers of the magazine. While some of them were not very useful, others were interesting and found some use at my table.

One of these is the tin golem by Scott Wile, basically a man-sized version of a child's tin soldier. I loved these guys, ever since seeing them in the Laurel & Hardy film Babes in Toyland (1934). Of course, those were made of wood, and these guys are supposed to be giant-sized animated versions of tin soldiers kids used to play with, solid metal.

Anyway, I've been tinkering with conversions of the monsters from this article, and here are the tin golems.

Appearing much like a man-sized version of a child’s toy, tin golems are dressed in what appears to be the military garb of a long-forgotten nation: red coats with shiny brass buttons, with tall black or dark blue hats and high boots of matching color. Most of these soldiers are painted with white surcoats or vests, with white pants. All carry huge sabers. While not painted with armor, the sturdy tin construction of these soldiers makes them incredibly tough, and they are magically reinforced to be hard enough to break many weapons.

Tin Golem

Medium construct, unaligned

Armor Class 18 (natural armor)
Hit Points 102 (12d8 + 48)
Speed 20 ft.
STR    DEX    CON    INT    WIS    CHA
18 (+4)    9 (-1)    18 (+4)    5 (-3)    11 (+0)    1 (-5)
Damage Immunities fire, lightning, poison, psychic; bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks not made with adamantine weapons
Damage Resistances piercing and slashing damage from all other weapons
Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned
Senses darkvision 120 ft., passive Perception 10
Languages understands the languages of its creator but can't speak
Challenge 7 (2,900 XP)
Immutable Form. The golem is immune to any spell or effect that would alter its form.

Magic Resistance. The golem has advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects.

Magic Weapons. The golem's weapon attacks are magical.

Solid Form. Any nonmagical piercing or slashing weapon that hits the tin golem dulls. After dealing damage, the weapon takes a permanent and cumulative -1 penalty to damage rolls. If its penalty drops to -5, the weapon is destroyed. Nonmagical ammunition that hits the tin golem is destroyed after dealing damage.
   In addition, the tin golem has resistance to piercing or slashing damage from even magical weapons, or nonmagical weapons made of adamantine.

Actions

Multiattack. The golem makes two melee attacks.

Slam. Melee Weapon Attack: +7 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 16 (2d8 + 7) bludgeoning damage.

Sabre. Melee Weapon Attack: +7 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 17 (2d12 + 4) slashing damage.

Manual of Tin Golems

Wondrous item, very rare

This tome contains information and incantations necessary to make a tin golem. To decipher and use the manual, you must be a spellcaster with at least two 5th-level spell slots. A creature that can't use a manual of golems and attempts to read it takes 6d6 psychic damage. 

   To create a tin golem, you must spend 45 days, working without interruption with the manual at hand and resting no more than 8 hours per day. You must also pay 60,000 gp to purchase supplies.

   Once you finish creating the golem, the book is consumed in eldritch flames. The golem becomes animate when the ashes of the manual are sprinkled on it. It is under your control, and it understands and obeys your spoken commands.

Illustration is Captain Fyter from The Tin Woodman of Oz (1918), illustrated by John R. Neill.