Wondrous Wednesday: Chainsword +3 (D&D5E)

So, in converting the joke monsters of D&D over to 5th edition, I was reminded of a few joke magic items that are also interesting to me. My main goal in converting joke elements is to keep as much of the humor as feasible while actually making it an element someone can use in an otherwise-serious game. For example, I can absolutely come up with a subrace of elves from the Feywild, who focus their magic on food items. I can come up with specialty magic consumables they make, and stat them up as an NPC or perhaps even as a race for player use. But once I call them "Keebler elves" (Dragon #036) I've made them something that can only be used as-is in a joke campaign. My goal is to make the joke clear to the reader, but to leave the actual mechanical write-up usable in a standard campaign.

In that vein, I was reminded of the "Chainsword +3" (Dragon #132, "Bazaar of the Bizarre" article by Stewart Wieck [RIP]). The Chainsword was apparently slated to appear in AC11: The Book of Wondrous Inventions but was cut, probably due to the jokiness of the concept. This would be ironic, since among the items in that book are such treasures Ardraken's Refreshment Simulacrum, which is a creature that looks like a soda machine that dispenses potions. Very serious, indeed. I feel that the chainsword has a place, but we can make it more generically usable with just a simple name change.

 

Sword of Teeth

Weapon (greatsword), legendary (requires attunement)

This sword has myriad triangular metal "teeth" lined along its edge. You gain a +3 bonus to attack and damage rolls made with this magic weapon. 

You can use a bonus action to speak this magic sword's command word, causing the teeth to rotate quickly along the blade's edge. While the teeth are rotating, the sword deals an extra 1d6 slashing damage to any target it hits. The teeth rotate until you speak the command word again (no action required by you).

A plant creature struck while the teeth are rotating takes maximum damage.

If the creature struck is wearing armor or wielding a shield, that armor or shield takes a permanent and cumulative -1 penalty to the AC it offers. Armor reduced to an AC of 10 or a shield that drops to a +0 bonus is destroyed.

Curse. This sword is cursed by a defect in construction. If an attack roll made with this weapon against a plant creature results in a roll of 1, the sword of teeth becomes stuck in the creature. You must succeed in a DC 18 Strength saving throw, or the weapon is wrenched from your hands and flung 1d20 feet in a random direction. If the saving throw also results in a roll of 1, the sword of teeth is destroyed and you take 7 (2d6) piercing damage from shards of metal and teeth that spray you as the sword wrenches itself apart.

Rumor has it that the necromancer known as Blackened Deckard has constructed new magic weapons to defend his tower against the minions of the treant lich Wormwood which infest the forests surrounding it. He offers the weapons as payment for those willing to defend the tower against the undead creature's hordes.